Lets just get into the game. I’m going to share an email I received a few days ago. “Hey Reema hopefully you can help me with my dating situation. I really don’t date much and I don’t know too much about men. I live in New York City and I have a neighbor who is a few years older than me. Our relationship started of real innocent. He offered to show me around because I just moved to the area. After the first tour, he invited me over to his place to listen to music and drink some wine. I had such a great time! I went back over to see him again and we made love and it was beautiful. After this I started to become very attracted to him. He has a cool vibe and he drives a nice car. Overall I would say he has his shit together. So one day he takes me for a drive and he tells me that I can’t be his girl because I would mess up his image. He told me I wasn’t attractive enough. I was so humiliated. I told him to take me home. I’ve avoided him ever since. Why was I good enough to spend the night with him sexually but not good enough to be seen with him? I feel dumb and that’s why I stay away from dating. What is my problem?”
There are a lot of things going on in this email. First though, this is some good game by this guy. He kept it real mackish with you. He told you what the deal was and I can’t hate on him for that. He could have been sleeping you and acting like he wanted you to be his girl. He could have been leading you on. You have to respect that. I don’t have anything negative to say about him because he didn’t really do anything wrong. Now he could have been tactful with how he handled the situation. He didn’t have to tell you your lack of attractiveness is messing up his image. The thing with you is that you’ve become an in-house jump off. This guy seems like he has his shit together and that through you for a loop. Ladies, the best jump off a guy can have is a neighbor. He doesn’t want to lead you on because when he has his dimes over, he doesn’t want you knocking on his door with emotional bullshit. This is a way for him to cover his tracks. If you’re banging a neighbor, you don’t want any loose ends. You don’t want to lie to a woman so close to home. That’s why he was honest with you. Again you’re just a neighborhood jump off. You’re his back up chick. Don’t get caught up in the same bullshit like a lot of women. “If I’m good enough to have sex with I should be good enough to be in a relationship with!” This logic is CRAZY! I don’t think women really know how crazy that sounds. There’s no such thing as being good enough to have sex with. I don’t think a lot of you get that. THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS BEING GOOD ENOUGH TO HAVE SEX WITH! ANY woman can get banged. It doesn’t matter how you look/act. You have thirsty dudes and even a guy that’s not thirsty will still hit that if it’s convenient for him. Stop thinking you’re special because men come to you with their dicks out. I don’t really know when this all started. I’m here to put a stop to it. You should only judge a man on how he treats you outside the bedroom. The real problem here is your self-esteem. It sounds like you have self-esteem issues. I know you’re not the best looking and you are here in NYC. There’s a lot of competition out here. You have to compete with real dimes, you have to compete with dimes of all different ethnic backgrounds and you have to compete with dimes that are cooperating. A guy with average game can pull dimes in NYC. You have to take that into consideration. The thing is, you can be average looking and still get men. You MUST have confidence with what you have going on with yourself. A dime mentality as Serenity would say. I don’t mean that sassy shit either. I’m talking about regardless of looks, you have to have confidence in yourself. Men can feed of that confidence. If your confidence is shot, it’s going to mess your game up. This is why you get put into that jump-off role. Jump-offs only get confidence if they’re being bent over. All that is, is weak confidence. When you have low confidence, any man can come in and run weak game on you. No man with his shit together is going to invest in a woman like that. He’s not going to make you his main lady. Step your confidence game up, master your look and stop thinking you’re special because guys want to bang you.
I know I was supposed to do three posts but I won’t have enough time. I’m going on a mini vacation with Little Lucille (wifey) to celebrate my birthday and Labor Day weekend (Thanks everything L&L haha). I still haven’t pack anything so I’m going to do that today. Have a great weekend, send me some birthday gift and go get laid 🙂