Women have to understand that types of relationships out there. You have three basic types of relationships. Sexual, financial and emotional. Relationships are really simple. I know people LOVE to make them seem more difficult than they really are. People have agendas when they get into relationships. Having an agenda isn’t bad. It’s a goal or motive that you want to have from your relationship. Some people may have a sexual agenda, financial agenda, or an emotional agenda. The real problem is that a lot of times, our agendas are not compatible with the person we are trying to deal with. For example, if you’re trying to get into a relationship for a sexual agenda, and the other person has an emotional agenda, there is going to be a clash. The agendas have to be on the same page, or it’s just not going to work. The lies come into play with men, when we know our agendas are not compatible with yours. A lot of times men will just lie and pretend our agenda are the same as yours. This is BIG with a lot of men. This is why women complain about men just having sex with them but, pretending to want more. Unfortunately ladies, men do this and will continue to do this. Now sometimes, people start off with compatible agendas. What happens is that agendas change and that’s when the lies start. A lot of times women will be in relationships with men, and when they get out of it they will say, “Damn this dude was lying to me the whole time!” You see the lies in hindsight and again, the agendas were just not compatible. Women need to understand that part of the game. It’s not that the guy was bad or deceptive. I’m just giving you the context of lies in relationships. Sometimes guys will lie in the context of relationships when they’re not feeling too good about themselves. They have to lie and put up a front to make themselves look better and feel better. They want themselves to look better in the eyes of others and cover up any insecurities. Some guys will tell lies to not hurt your feelings. They don’t know how to be honest without hurting your feelings. Women will say, “You just wanted sex. Why didn’t you just say that?” Sometimes it just doesn’t work that way. A lot of guys aren’t going to tell you, “You’re cool but I just want to have sex with you and nothing more.” When you look at that statement, it’s mean. That’s not really something to say to someone. A lot of guys will lie because they don’t know how to get into a sexual relationship without lying. They don’t understand that you don’t have to do that. You don’t have to announce that you just want sex. If you’re cool about it, women will roll with it. I already know how some women get down. Outside the context of relationships, you have men that are just liars. You have to understand the two basic types of liars. The first type is the manipulative liar. This is the guy that just lies to manipulate you. They’re some dudes that have a scram artist mentality. They get off on knowing they can trick people into doing different things. It’s a power rush. You can’t help men like this. These are the guys that you try to lend them your car and they will turn it down. They would rather steal your shit. They lie to see you messed up in the game. It’s a subconscious win. Women need to learn how to watch up for men like that. The second type is the compulsive liar. The compulsive liar isn’t necessary a bad guy. He’s just caught up. This is the guy that was probably neglected as a child. They may hold on to child fantasies. When you’re a kid, you fantasize and lie about little things because that what little kids do. Men like this have the same mentality. They lie so much it becomes normal for them. They become so comfortable with lying, that telling the truth feels weird. They lie just to fit in. It’s bad when you deal with men like this in relationships. I know you ladies have dealt with a man like this before. Everything is cool in the game and the relationship is going great. He has to mess things up by adding his own extras. “You know what baby? I’m going to take you shopping this weekend. I’m gonna buy you whatever you want. Bags, shoes, jewelry. You could have whatever you like.” When the weekend comes you go, “What happen to the shopping spree?” “You know that check that was suppose to come through? Well it didn’t. I got you next week though.” Just making up other lies to cover the first lie. You didn’t even need to say any of that. That’s what it’s like dealing with a compulsive liar. It’s like dealing with a kid so you’re going to have to charge him to the game. You have to deal with men that are true to the game. The problem is that some of you women really want these child like dudes because you like having mother son relationship with them. When you have this type of relationship, you have to deal with the child like mentality. What’s really sad is that the child like mentality goes into overdrive when these guys are stressed out. When you need him to man up the most, that’s when he will become more child like. You have top charge these child like dudes to the game. Just don’t fuck with them. I know it may be harder for some of you to tell when a man is lying so, I’m going to give you a few clues to help you.
1. He Has Exaggerated Emotions- This will be the guy that when you confront him, his emotions will be super mellow or just over the top. This is a red flag you must look for. For example, you are dating this guy and you say to him, “Hey I did a little background check on you. Did you try to rob a bank?” He may say, “When?” “Anytime?” That’s just not a normal response to a question like that. The flip side will be something over the top. To the same the questions, his response may be, “HELL TO THE NO! I DID NOT ROB THE BANK. H-E-L-L N-O. You got me fucked up right now. I didn’t do anything. I never even been to a bank.” This is just pure guilt. Don’t fall for this.
2. He Gives Smokescreen Details- Men in general like to get to the point with things. We don’t really like to go into details about a whole lot of stuff. When a man starts going into too many details, that is a red flag. He’s definitely lying. You may say, “Why did you come home at 3am last night?” He will start giving details that have nothing to do with the question you asked him. He may say, “Well yesterday afternoon at my job I went on my lunch break around 2. Sometimes I go at 1. Something happen so I went to the mall. I got those new cinnasticks from that pretzel place you love. I will take you again baby. Then I went to this burger place. They had a promotion on a new burger. It messed up my stomach. I went to the emergency room and came straight home.” I know this may seem crazy but, it’s something that some men do. Look at for the smokescreen details.
3. He Has Irresponsible Reasoning- This will be the guy that will blame everything on everybody. He doesn’t take responsibility for any of his actions. It’s always someone who is holding him back. He will have an excuse for everything. Excuses are just lies. I want you ladies to understand that part of the game. When something deceptive happens, he already has an excuse lock and loaded. When he doesn’t come home, he is ready with an excuse. “Baby my boys got me drunk. You know I don’t know where I am when I’m drunk. I woke up naked with this girl on top of me. I was scared. Can you believe that baby? I need some new friends.” Everything is everyone else fault. Watch out for men like this.
4. He Always Changes The Subject- Men usually change the subject when they’re lying because they don’t want you to find holes in their story. If you confront them about something, you will get a lame excuse and he will quickly change the subject. For example, “Baby, I noticed that you have been staying out late. Is everything ok?” “Well you know how sometimes I run home to workout. Well I was running home and these guys jumped me when I ran past that almost bad neighborhood. I fought them off and ran home. Anyway, what you cooking on Sunday for dinner. I was thinking Salmon.” Something like this is a dead giveaway.
I have always said that you MUST hold the men you deal with to a higher standard. The days of dating an ain’t shit man is OVER! Accept the fact that you may have to charge him to the game and step your game up. Dealing with a man who is doing shit like this is not a good look. You want to be a woman of value. Remember, a woman of value will always be light years ahead of her competition.