I was reading two of my favorite blogs and they were both talking about marriage and relationships. Before you continue reading anymore of this, you need to go read Kenny and Serenity‘s blogs about these topics. I already told you guys that you’re CRAZY if you are not following these two blogs so I shouldn’t have to tell you again :). I have nothing against marriage or being in a serious relationship. I would have to be with someone for at least two years before I thought about marriage and a pre-nup would 1000% need to be signed. My parents would probably disown me if I didn’t. Even though I don’t work in any part of the family business (I like to make my own money), that is something I have to fall back on. But I digress; you guys don’t want to hear about some black kid that has his family money to fall back on haha. Ok, time to chop up game. I’ve been receiving emails from different women asking the same question. “Why don’t men want to commit?” This is a great question. First off, the word commit has a negative association. The word commit means you’re obligated to do something you really don’t want to do. For example, “I don’t want to go to this event, but I already committed to it.” Even in society when you hear the word commit, something bad happened. “You committed a murder”, “You committed a robbery”, “You will be committed to the psych ward.” Masculine energy is all about freedom, exploration. When a man feels like he is obligated to commit, it usually doesn’t work. A lot of women try to entrap men into marriage or a relationship. Then you get upset when he is not good to you. The best relationships are when the man has OPTIONS and he chooses to be with you. I have a list of a few reasons why men don’t want to commit to a relationship or marriage. Let’s break them down.
1. Access To Easy Sex- This is one of the biggest reasons men don’t want to commit to a relationship or marriage. See back in the day when a woman wanted a relationship, she would dangle sex in front of you. Back then the women carried themselves a certain way (some women still do). Sex wasn’t as easy as it is now. Women definitely brought other things to the table besides sex. WOW, the game has changed. You have SO MANY easy women out here and we have such a tricking culture, that sex has been devalued. You use to have to be able to let your game work for you to get sex. If you weren’t true to the game, you were not going to get any women. Now, sex is easily accessible for a guy with tricks bones in his body. A lot of marriages are based this way. Some women will say, “Marry me and give me a house, car and family. In return, I will give you unlimited sex.” Tricks are not going for that nowadays. Why spend all that money when you can spend $40 for sex at a strip club, or some back alley. Women have brought the price of sex down so low that men rather just go the tricking route if sex is the only incentive.
2. No Pressure For Men To Get Married- For women, you guys have social pressure to get married. A lot of women are told something is wrong with them if they are not married by a certain time. The Cat Lady Syndrome is something none of you want to hear. This does not happen to men. Women like maturity in a man. Unfortunately that does not work for women. As men, we can put off marriage until 45 and still get a dime. You see this all the time. A woman can do the same if her game is crisp. Generally speaking it is easier for a man to get married when he’s older and not have to deal with social pressure.
3. Kids- A lot of women are bringing kids from the old relationship to the new one. This is not necessarily a bad thing. This is something you will want to discuss with the guy before you even start dating. Don’t run away from the kid’s discussion. I see women avoid the situation all the time. “I don’t need another father for my baby.” “You have to date me for a few months before I even bring my son around, etc”. How many of you ladies have said that? Its time to charge that thinking to the game. You have to remember that one of the incentives for men to get married is to have a family. If you’re already bringing a family to the table, it could be an issue. Especially for some of you that are 21 or 22 and going on your second kid. By the time you are ready to settle down, those kids are grown. Now we have to deal with you and the mindset of your kid/kids. We don’t know how you raised them either. That could be overwhelming. Again, bringing kids in to a new relationship is not a bad thing. Just get it out-of-the-way. I know in some situations the woman got married and had a couple of kids. She is well-rounded and the kids are well-rounded. That’s a good thing.
4. Financial Reasons- This is a BIG reason for men not to commit to marriage. Women if you are dealing with a man of means, he is going to look at marriage as an investment. The legal system is jerking guys right now. Look at Tiger and Kobe. Yes they were stupid to not sign pre-nups. Pre-nup or not, those women do NOT deserve a big chunk of money. Even on a much smaller scale men are not getting a fair shake at child support settlements and alimony settlements. You guys can not ignore this and you can’t expect men to ignore this either. I will love you forever and ever does sound good but at the end of the day, the man is usually stuck with the bill. After seeing this, a lot of men are charging marriage talk to the game. When a man tells you he doesn’t want to commit because his money isn’t right, he is probably telling the truth.
5. You Bring Nothing To The Table- You can’t bring nothing to the table and expect to sit at the table. It just doesn’t work that way. I know this is a tough pill to swallow. I have to keep it 100 with my ladies. A lot of you just don’t bring anything to the table to make a man want to commit to you. You don’t have anything going on for you that will make him charge his other women to the game. I know a lot of you THINK you have it going on but you really don’t. I know thirsty ass dudes, facebook and twitter are a few reasons for this but, its 2012 and you must take responsibility in the game. Some of you know that you’re extra average and that’s cool in the game. If you are working on upgrading your overall greatness, you will find a man who will make you wifey. Let’s take cooking for example. A lot of women don’t cook anymore and the few that do, you make it seem like a luxury. You make some eggs and toast and now you think you’re an Iron Chef. A lot of you don’t want to clean. You make excuses for doing basic things. “I’m working all day and I’m tired!” You have to make sacrifices in life. So what that you’re tied. Shit I’m tired of takeout haha. Seriously, you have to start bringing something to the table. Don’t be that woman who dates guys with nothing so you don’t have to bring anything to the table. Sooner or later he is going to get back on his feet and we already know what is going to happen. You must be a woman of value. Just bringing sex to the table is not the business anymore. Guys will just hit it and keep you around as a jump-off. Don’t be a jump-off. Get your mind right and everything will fall into place. Men are not dumb (some at least). We know a good woman when we meet one. We know a woman of value when we meet one. You have to give us that. Give men incentives to want to wife you up. You are going to have to start being honest with yourself. Get your look right, your attitude right and get your game right. I guarantee you will have men trying to wife you up.