“Why am I good enough to sleep with but not wife up?” Game For Women Reema Edition

Lets just get into the game. I’m going to share an email I received a few days ago. “Hey Reema hopefully you can help me with my dating situation. I really don’t date much and I don’t know too much about men. I live in New York City and I have a neighbor who is a few years older than me. Our relationship started of real innocent. He offered to show me around because I just moved to the area. After the first tour, he invited me over to his place to listen to music and drink some wine. I had such a great time! I went back over to see him again and we made love and it was beautiful. After this I started to become very attracted to him. He has a cool vibe and he drives a nice car. Overall I would say he has his shit together. So one day he takes me for a drive and he tells me that I can’t be his girl because I would mess up his image. He told me I wasn’t attractive enough. I was so humiliated. I told him to take me home. I’ve avoided him ever since. Why was I good enough to spend the night with him sexually but not good enough to be seen with him? I feel dumb and that’s why I stay away from dating. What is my problem?”

There are a lot of things going on in this email. First though, this is some good game by this guy. He kept it real mackish with you. He told you what the deal was and I can’t hate on him for that. He could have been sleeping you and acting like he wanted you to be his girl. He could have been leading you on. You have to respect that. I don’t have anything negative to say about him because he didn’t really do anything wrong. Now he could have been tactful with how he handled the situation. He didn’t have to tell you your lack of attractiveness is messing up his image. The thing with you is that you’ve become an in-house jump off. This guy seems like he has his shit together and that through you for a loop. Ladies, the best jump off a guy can have is a neighbor. He doesn’t want to lead you on because when he has his dimes over, he doesn’t want you knocking on his door with emotional bullshit. This is a way for him to cover his tracks. If you’re banging a neighbor, you don’t want any loose ends. You don’t want to lie to a woman so close to home. That’s why he was honest with you. Again you’re just a neighborhood jump off. You’re his back up chick. Don’t get caught up in the same bullshit like a lot of women. “If I’m good enough to have sex with I should be good enough to be in a relationship with!” This logic is CRAZY! I don’t think women really know how crazy that sounds. There’s no such thing as being good enough to have sex with. I don’t think a lot of you get that. THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS BEING GOOD ENOUGH TO HAVE SEX WITH! ANY woman can get banged. It doesn’t matter how you look/act. You have thirsty dudes and even a guy that’s not thirsty will still hit that if it’s convenient for him. Stop thinking you’re special because men come to you with their dicks out. I don’t really know when this all started. I’m here to put a stop to it. You should only judge a man on how he treats you outside the bedroom. The real problem here is your self-esteem. It sounds like you have self-esteem issues. I know you’re not the best looking and you are here in NYC. There’s a lot of competition out here. You have to compete with real dimes, you have to compete with dimes of all different ethnic backgrounds and you have to compete with dimes that are cooperating. A guy with average game can pull dimes in NYC. You have to take that into consideration. The thing is, you can be average looking and still get men. You MUST have confidence with what you have going on with yourself. A dime mentality as Serenity would say. I don’t mean that sassy shit either. I’m talking about regardless of looks, you have to have confidence in yourself. Men can feed of that confidence. If your confidence is shot, it’s going to mess your game up. This is why you get put into that jump-off role. Jump-offs only get confidence if they’re being bent over. All that is, is weak confidence. When you have low confidence, any man can come in and run weak game on you. No man with his shit together is going to invest in a woman like that. He’s not going to make you his main lady. Step your confidence game up, master your look and stop thinking you’re special because guys want to bang you.

I know I was supposed to do three posts but I won’t have enough time. I’m going on a mini vacation with Little Lucille (wifey) to celebrate my birthday and Labor Day weekend (Thanks everything L&L haha). I still haven’t pack anything so I’m going to do that today. Have a great weekend, send me some birthday gift and go get laid :)

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About The Reemachronicles

This blog is about the great NY dating scene. My focus will be on improving your overall greatness, the online dating game, some fashion tips and just other random thoughts helping guys get better with women. I will even give you updates on the current women in my life. Get on for the crazy ride that is my life.
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29 Responses to “Why am I good enough to sleep with but not wife up?” Game For Women Reema Edition

  1. everything L&L says:

    do you mean labor day? I agree confidence is key and she should have saw that coming, a tour and wine at his place; not a public place? First off she went home with a stranger. Second, anytime you think sex will bring some type of relationship you will be wrong. Good read, have a nice vacay.

    • Thanks! I gave you a shout out

      She definitely saw that coming. It’s not like he tricked her or anything. He invited her over to his house she knew the deal. Women know when they come over they want to have sex with you. The problem is that a lot of women think they can lock you down because they had sex with you. It just doesn’t work that way.

  2. serenityluv1 says:

    It’s my birthday Monday! Oh but anyway-WOW I would have went off on him, I would have told him nope your lack of intelligence to recognize a dime mess your image up and then I would not have ever said another word to him. NEXT!!

    • aneroidocean says:

      To the reader (e-mail) regarding Serenity’s feedback above:

      No. Not every woman is a dime. Tell him it’s his loss because you’re a quality woman, tell him he’s an asshole for saying you weren’t pretty enough, tell him anything that is truthful, but don’t tell him you’re a dime if you’re not. That’s the wrong attitude to have. It’s not confidence, it’s hideous when a girl acts that way, it’s not feminine and it’s low class.

      You did good telling him to take you home immediately and not to try to fuck him again.

      “Why was I good enough to spend the night with him sexually but not good enough to be seen with him? I feel dumb and that’s why I stay away from dating. What is my problem?”

      You seem to believe that this is the reason you should stay away from dating.

      Check yourself. This was not dating in the sense of trying to meet someone quality who shared your same values for a long term relationship (which it sounds like you’re looking for, as are most women).

      “Our relationship started off real innocent.”

      No, it didn’t. You went over to his place to listen to music and drink wine, you knew there was a very real possibility of fucking him that night. This is OKAY. I’m not going to slut shame you for this, because it’s not the point at all. The point is that you are rationalizing this situation as innocent. It’s not.

      “He offered to show me around because I just moved to the area. After the first tour, he invited me over to his place to listen to music and drink some wine. I had such a great time! I went back over to see him again and we made love and it was beautiful.”

      This part is great! You had fun. Why would you let how this ended stop you from dating? Your problem is that you assumed this was dating for a long term relationship when all signs pointed to him having options and was not trying to date you for a long term relationship.

      Also, I have another HUGE problem with your victim mentality:

      “After this I started to become very attracted to him. He has a cool vibe and he drives a nice car.”

      He drives a nice car huh? Are you going to date HIM or are you going to date his car?

      Women, if you want to find a man for a long term committed relationship, why are you listing one of the two big qualities he as being that he drives a nice car? I can tell you right now, most millionaires drive a car worth under 30k. Look at what kind of man he is and that he truly has his shit together. Practically anyone can be making payments or leasing a nice car.

      Date the guy that’s paying down his mortgage twice as fast as he needs to but is driving an older economy car and has a cool vibe that you get along with and find sexy. That’s the guy who can be a stable long-term relationship partner, not the next jackass living paycheck to paycheck but driving a new Lexus.

      If dating isn’t working out for you, guess what’s the only common denominator amongst all the men you date? YOU. Look in the mirror. Check yourself. Improve your own chances.

      • I 100000% agree that every woman is not a dime. Her problem was just assuming that this guy wanted a relationship. Him sleeping with her meant a relationship to her and it just doesn’t work that way. Dating isn’t working for her because of her confidence level. The car thing is true. I know guys with money with sick cars and guys with money with normal cars. It just depends on the man. If he’s into cars he will spend more on cars.

      • bossymoksie says:

        I love this breakdown androidocean.
        I hate it when my friends do some ho shit then pretend that it was supposedly innocent. Women like to lie to themselves about wanting to act like a ho sometimes. Nothing wring with it, but be honest with yourself about it instead of acting like the victim! You knew what was up! I think it’s their way of saving face.

  3. serenityluv1 says:

    Thanks for the Mention! You always give some good advice.

  4. serenityluv1 says:

    One last thing is that it is so easy for us women to fall into a vulnerable situation because we always go in heart first…I learn to stop that ish after the first heartbreak. You have got to take time to know these men, date them before you pull your panties down if you looking for more than a quick nut!

  5. Mz. Bambi says:

    Great Read Reema and Happy Early Birthday!!

    I’ve learned from experience not to go into shit expecting more than what the evident signs show..and with the whole let’s go to his place for some wine..BITCH I got my own damn wine at my own spot..she knew what she was getting into but preferred to play the innocent dandelion..no boo..you knew he was gonna roll those drawls down to your ankles and thrust into you something serious – I can say this because I’ve been there and honestly, it hurts but shit soak it up and learn from that lesson. Just because you give up the pussy, doesn’t mean the dude is going to wife you up – if anything, you probably did yourself an injustice by just upping it like that after a few good vibes. Now he can say to himself “If she gave it up to me that easily, how many other dudes has she done that with?”

    Read the signs boo..you’ll know when a guy is interested in pursing more than just bedroom rumble with you. Get out and do some more shit outside hun..don’t let your main attractions consist of sleeping with one another or else, that’s all you’ll have..a hot pum pum.

    I’m with Reema on this one…he didn’t do wrong except maybe how he chose to word his rejection for a relationship. You plucked a man who wasn’t ready to settle down with you and yo good pussy…lick your wounds and try again.

  6. bossymoksie says:

    THANK YOU!!!!!!!
    Guys will have sex with anyone who will give it up to them! I don’t know when women started thinking that’s all they had to do to keep a man either!
    That is definitely a self esteem issue. She didn’t even start being attracted to him until AFTER they slept together! wtf????
    Also, I know a lot of hot girls who still have low self-esteem and are HUGELY insecure. They get sexed up and spit out too. It’s all about confidence!!!

  7. bossymoksie says:

    And Happy Birthday Reema! :)

  8. Pingback: Playing The #’s Game To Win With Women[Killing The Scarcity Mentality]!!! « Kenny PUA Ventures Through Bang-Ville

  9. offdadome says:

    happy belated :) I feel for her, she should have been more careful not all females can be like your beautiful boss lady followers lol

  10. bossymoksie says:

    Reblogged this on bossymoksie and commented:
    Listen up ladies! Straight from the horses mouth. Sex does NOT equal a relationship to men. And it doesn’t mean he’s dreaming about walking you down the aisle either. Sex=sex. Don’t walk into this trap! You should also read the comments in this post!

  11. Sex is sex, sometimes for women too, appreciate the memory and move on!

  12. SillyG says:

    great answer reema. sex is sex is sex. i can never understand why women cant get that.
    and happy bday!

  13. Pingback: Playing The #’s Game To Win With Women [Killing The Scarcity Mentality]!!! « Kenny PUA: “Get Laid By Being Social”

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